Redjeb was hardly responsive today, could not even hold or squeeze my hand. He is still on the ventilator but breathing very rapidly. I know some of you would like me to tell him your get well wishes, but I don't know if he understands. But I do so anyway.
I can only give you advice to prepare ASAP your advance directives. Redjeb and I both made out Living Wills and Health Care Proxies. We also gave each other Power of Attorney. The forms are simple to do. It has helped immensely at the hospital to smooth things over. I need to make another Health Care Proxy now, as Redjeb is mine and he won't be in any shape to do what it takes for a long time.
By the way, I keep the Advance Directives in the refrigerator door in a zip lock baggie. The refrig is what I learned from my mother who lived for a while in Florida: keeps them save from hurricanes and fire (hopefully). They are also very handy for people to find or to grab yourself when need be. I keep copies in NYC and EH.
Dearest Peg and Redjeb,
ReplyDeleteI did do all of that before I went to China. Also gave Sam, in addition to everything else, durable power of attorney. And he's insisting, probably rightly, on meeting with my lawyer, soon. ("So I'll be able to {sell the condo} to take care of you,should anything happen.) I know he's right; yet I resist.
I suppose it's not possible to hope that every day in every way Redjeb is improving, i.e., surely he'll have bad and good days. But how hard to watch and to feel so powerless to help. And yet you DO help, and I absolutely believe that he must sense and very much appreciate your presence.
That said, I hope that you are getting some rest. You'll be no good to him or anyone, most notably, yourself unless you, too, rest.
All quiet up here. I'm staying in a very large house, which I delight in, while recognizing that it must be constant work to keep it up, as it were. Norma, Harry's "mother," is extremely energetic and relishes hard physical work. Her husband, Ken, does, too, but he's in the early stages of dementia. While he's perfectly capable of riding the mower, she might have to remind him to do so. He's MUCH happier up here than he was in Lexington, however. Vermont works for them, even though a lot of us thought they were crazy to take on such a large house and 10 acres of land. Her daughter lives right around the corner, however, and she, her husband, and three kids are over almost every day. It works.
The peace of the country, as you well know from EH. I'm very happy to sit and read and look at the mountains. But I'm going to force myself into Vergennes for their French-American History day. And confess that one of the reasons is to pick up some chocolate at this incredible shop in town! And maybe, if they're not already out, get some croissants , real French croissants made by a Frenchman! Both two favorite things of Redjeb's, and perhaps yours as well.
Circles within circles, ever-spreading. This week on NPR I heard a writer, Kate Christensen, talking about her memoir of childhood in Berkeley and beyond. The more I listened, the more convinced I was that she as, indeed, the daughter of old friends of mine...as she is! I "stood up with" her parents on their wedding day, among other memories.
Big hugs to you both and John.
Love,Bonnie