I was pleased that Redjeb was more alert today than before and for a longer period of time. You must realize this is all relative, but each positive step is welcome, though I still have an anxious panic feeling inside.
Redjeb has also been getting squirmy, wanting to move. Can you imagine laying in bad for weeks, not able to get up and walk around. Now he is, of course, very weak. But he has good color, and now sports a moustache and Fou Manchou (sp?) beard. That is the way they "shave" him.
They have been feeding him through a tube, and he is not allowed to eat real food by mouth for fear of aspiration into his lungs. He talks about chocolate ice cream and banana splits. And hot decaf tea. I have to keep a list of these things for when he gets better.
Short blog tonight. Have been going to bed much earlier than is my custom in my "former" life.
My brother and sister-in-law are here, arrived today. Some friends also stopped by on their way to East Hampton. Also have my host and hostess here in Port Jeff So I am not alone. (And certainly not alone with all the nice emails and blog comments--which I may not answer but do appreciate.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Sunday eve: The days all run together
Today was a bad day for Redjeb. He had some episode in the morning, I think with his breathing. There was a flurry of activity. Then afterwards he just slept all day. So there was none of the interaction of yesterday. I feel for him.
My nephew Will left this morn, and tomorrow I shall move back to staying with the friends in Port Jeff. I think I told them I was coming???
My brain is like a sieve.
Heading for bed.
My nephew Will left this morn, and tomorrow I shall move back to staying with the friends in Port Jeff. I think I told them I was coming???
My brain is like a sieve.
Heading for bed.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Sat: Where do the days go?
oops, was going to call this post "Am really tired this eve", but guess what: that was the title of yesterday's post. Will has been exhausted too after these days. He commented that we are there for about 7 hours, most of the time standing by the bed. If we sit down, Redjeb won't be able to see us, partly cause he has the neck brace on from the neck surgery. Our feet tell us we have been there a while....
Many of you have written to me about the Times article about PTSD, mental deterioration, and long stays in the ICU. That's me. Oh...they were talking about the patient, were they? Well guess what, Redjeb and I are both losing it.
This morn Will and I were quite worried when we arrived at the hospital as Redjeb was in a deep sleep and couldn't be aroused. But by afternoon, he started to come to. There is a notice now pasted on the wall about a speaking valve, so Will asked the nurse if she could put it in. It is still almost impossible to understand Redjeb, yet we could get a few words and communication was better than we've had, since it was pretty nonexistent. Really made us feel we were with him. Is amazing what even a few words will do. Will also was writing some words on paper. Wasn't clear if Redjeb could read the words. Maybe yes, probably no. But we keep trying. But I am impressed by how weak and confused he has become.
Nevertheless,
Redjeb is such a sweet wonderful person, and it shows through even in this awful situation.
Many of you have written to me about the Times article about PTSD, mental deterioration, and long stays in the ICU. That's me. Oh...they were talking about the patient, were they? Well guess what, Redjeb and I are both losing it.
This morn Will and I were quite worried when we arrived at the hospital as Redjeb was in a deep sleep and couldn't be aroused. But by afternoon, he started to come to. There is a notice now pasted on the wall about a speaking valve, so Will asked the nurse if she could put it in. It is still almost impossible to understand Redjeb, yet we could get a few words and communication was better than we've had, since it was pretty nonexistent. Really made us feel we were with him. Is amazing what even a few words will do. Will also was writing some words on paper. Wasn't clear if Redjeb could read the words. Maybe yes, probably no. But we keep trying. But I am impressed by how weak and confused he has become.
Nevertheless,
Redjeb is such a sweet wonderful person, and it shows through even in this awful situation.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Friday: Really tired this eve
Really tired this eve. Didn't sleep too well last eve.
But this am at the hospital Redjeb at first was sort of out of it and half asleep. Meds??
But then the PT guys arrived. He really perked up again and they did the same thing as yesterday, trying to get him to stand up and sit down. They have to prop him up. He has lost a lot of muscle lying in bed all this time and he is very weak. But he really gets into it with them (as best he can). I wish they could come back twice a day. I asked the surgeon I spoke to today if that would be possible. He explained that it was a matter of staffing and he wasn't sure they could accomodate that. He said he'd ask, but he was running off to surgery, so he probably won't remember. Also, I think they are really doing assessment, not real PT.
I also had a long talk with a resident today, as a result of my heart to heart talk with the social worker yesterday. He told me he would pass on my concerns to the head surgeon who would then speak to me. When I found out who was the head guy this week, I made a face and told the resident I didn't like the guy. ..That he had been flippant with me when I met him when Redjeb first came in. What I found interesting was when I finally got to speak to Dr. Flippant, he was really quite nice (for him). I wondered if the resident had told him what I said. Dr. F also mentioned that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, to which I added that this squeaky wheel was starting to crack.
But he told me that they had decided not to discharge Redjeb on Monday, but to wait a few days more. That is a relief to me as it gives me a bit more time to work on the nursing home situation and also the ever present insurance issues. Redjeb has made a tiny bit of progress each day, but it is progress, so the doctor wants to see what happens in a few days.
Unfortunately Redjeb cannot speak, as he has the trach. They had hoped to fit him with a speaking valve, but haven't been able to as he has a lot of gunk coming up from his lungs that were damaged in the accident. I feel bad as he has been trying to talk but it is impossible to understand him. And he cannot read nor write (for unknown reasons)...and can't hold a pen. He and I always used to be in communication and this is so frustrating for him, I am sure, and for me.
My nephew Will worked along with me this morning, helping me with bill paying in my "real" life. Yes, those bills do keep coming and appear unfortunately when people bring me the mail. He was also helpful in trying to organize me. But he has come to realize how overwhelming all this is. He said that I have had to absorb an enormous amount of information...and try to act on it. He went to bed this eve exhausted. Now I shall.
Thanks to you folks who have been trying to help with the nursing home search.
But this am at the hospital Redjeb at first was sort of out of it and half asleep. Meds??
But then the PT guys arrived. He really perked up again and they did the same thing as yesterday, trying to get him to stand up and sit down. They have to prop him up. He has lost a lot of muscle lying in bed all this time and he is very weak. But he really gets into it with them (as best he can). I wish they could come back twice a day. I asked the surgeon I spoke to today if that would be possible. He explained that it was a matter of staffing and he wasn't sure they could accomodate that. He said he'd ask, but he was running off to surgery, so he probably won't remember. Also, I think they are really doing assessment, not real PT.
I also had a long talk with a resident today, as a result of my heart to heart talk with the social worker yesterday. He told me he would pass on my concerns to the head surgeon who would then speak to me. When I found out who was the head guy this week, I made a face and told the resident I didn't like the guy. ..That he had been flippant with me when I met him when Redjeb first came in. What I found interesting was when I finally got to speak to Dr. Flippant, he was really quite nice (for him). I wondered if the resident had told him what I said. Dr. F also mentioned that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, to which I added that this squeaky wheel was starting to crack.
But he told me that they had decided not to discharge Redjeb on Monday, but to wait a few days more. That is a relief to me as it gives me a bit more time to work on the nursing home situation and also the ever present insurance issues. Redjeb has made a tiny bit of progress each day, but it is progress, so the doctor wants to see what happens in a few days.
Unfortunately Redjeb cannot speak, as he has the trach. They had hoped to fit him with a speaking valve, but haven't been able to as he has a lot of gunk coming up from his lungs that were damaged in the accident. I feel bad as he has been trying to talk but it is impossible to understand him. And he cannot read nor write (for unknown reasons)...and can't hold a pen. He and I always used to be in communication and this is so frustrating for him, I am sure, and for me.
My nephew Will worked along with me this morning, helping me with bill paying in my "real" life. Yes, those bills do keep coming and appear unfortunately when people bring me the mail. He was also helpful in trying to organize me. But he has come to realize how overwhelming all this is. He said that I have had to absorb an enormous amount of information...and try to act on it. He went to bed this eve exhausted. Now I shall.
Thanks to you folks who have been trying to help with the nursing home search.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Wednesday: maybe a bit better
Oh dear, I hear a strange noise from my little Mac, like my hard drive making noises. That's all I need is a crash. This is an old computer according the the younger generation of techies.
A positive thing happened today, but then sort of got done in. I spoke to the nurse about the possibility that Redjeb was over-medicated. He listened and then put him on half the dose and also put him on an as needed basis. This seemed to work out wonderfully for several hours. Redjeb became more alert and even a little perky. I began to wonder though that if he left the cloudy peace of his Oxycontin (or whatever oxy it is) that he would start to realize what is really going on. But he seemed just more there, though the not-following-commands still remained. I had some hope that maybe that would clear up too, but then he became quite upset as his breathing was bad at one point (related to the trach). The nurse interpreted this as he might be in pain and gave him more pain killer and at the old higher dose. But at least it was good to see him having some relatively lucid time.
I played some Shostakovitch and Beethoven for him from apps on my cell phone, and at one point even went on You Tube and played for him his own violin concerto. Wasn't too sure how much of this he was getting, but I think he was. Sometimes his hands and arms even moved a bit when the music was on.
I have been talking to the woman who comes to clean Redjeb's room. She is from Turkey originally. Her children are in college or grads and beginning to be in professions. She said that when she first started working in the intensive care unit, for the first month she would hide in the utility closet and cry for an hour. Then she would cry when she went home. She could not bare the suffering she saw. But she said her daughter talked to her, and she now just reminds herself that she has a job and needs the job and tries not to look. I wonder if hospitals ever consider support or orientation services for the maintenance staff. I've worked in hospitals and am not aware of such. I believe that these people and the impact the environment has on them may be overlooked or minimized at best.
My nephew Will arrived this eve. We went for Indian food. It is good to have his company and to remember that there are lives out there beyond the hospital. I must be a big bore. My world is really narrow and I repeat the same things over and over.
Wonder when I will ever reemerge.
I moved back to the hotel since Will is staying here. Have to remember what my hotel routine is: swimming if I have the time in the morning, free breakfast such as it is. If I can figure out how to put a video on this blog, I will show you the pancake machine. But not tonight, I am really wiped. Going to try to get to bed early.
On an up note, as I was winding my way through a back corridor of the hospital this eve, on my way out, what did I see sitting on a stack of papers to the side but my favorite orange hat. It must have fallen out of my tote bag this morning and someone sat it aside. It was waiting for me all day and I didn't even realize I had lost it. Yeah!
Good night
A positive thing happened today, but then sort of got done in. I spoke to the nurse about the possibility that Redjeb was over-medicated. He listened and then put him on half the dose and also put him on an as needed basis. This seemed to work out wonderfully for several hours. Redjeb became more alert and even a little perky. I began to wonder though that if he left the cloudy peace of his Oxycontin (or whatever oxy it is) that he would start to realize what is really going on. But he seemed just more there, though the not-following-commands still remained. I had some hope that maybe that would clear up too, but then he became quite upset as his breathing was bad at one point (related to the trach). The nurse interpreted this as he might be in pain and gave him more pain killer and at the old higher dose. But at least it was good to see him having some relatively lucid time.
I played some Shostakovitch and Beethoven for him from apps on my cell phone, and at one point even went on You Tube and played for him his own violin concerto. Wasn't too sure how much of this he was getting, but I think he was. Sometimes his hands and arms even moved a bit when the music was on.
I have been talking to the woman who comes to clean Redjeb's room. She is from Turkey originally. Her children are in college or grads and beginning to be in professions. She said that when she first started working in the intensive care unit, for the first month she would hide in the utility closet and cry for an hour. Then she would cry when she went home. She could not bare the suffering she saw. But she said her daughter talked to her, and she now just reminds herself that she has a job and needs the job and tries not to look. I wonder if hospitals ever consider support or orientation services for the maintenance staff. I've worked in hospitals and am not aware of such. I believe that these people and the impact the environment has on them may be overlooked or minimized at best.
My nephew Will arrived this eve. We went for Indian food. It is good to have his company and to remember that there are lives out there beyond the hospital. I must be a big bore. My world is really narrow and I repeat the same things over and over.
Wonder when I will ever reemerge.
I moved back to the hotel since Will is staying here. Have to remember what my hotel routine is: swimming if I have the time in the morning, free breakfast such as it is. If I can figure out how to put a video on this blog, I will show you the pancake machine. But not tonight, I am really wiped. Going to try to get to bed early.
On an up note, as I was winding my way through a back corridor of the hospital this eve, on my way out, what did I see sitting on a stack of papers to the side but my favorite orange hat. It must have fallen out of my tote bag this morning and someone sat it aside. It was waiting for me all day and I didn't even realize I had lost it. Yeah!
Good night
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Another Tuesday: Big thunder storm
I am at my friends' home in the nice room they've given me, writing as the thunder and lightening are busy outside, God that lightening is close!
Today was a day of very mixed emotions. He seemed more aware (so to speak), even sort of smiling at me at times. I downloaded Pandora radio to my cell phone and played classical music for him for an hour or so. I was happy thinking that he was listening, but later on I began to wonder if he really heard it. I wonder if he has become totally deaf and that is one reason he does not respond to commands. Even the hearing aids don't seem to make a difference. Right now he is unable to read or write so we can't communicate that way either. Some have said this may be that he has been on pain killers for so long, but I wonder. Something isn't right.
I think they are moving him to the regular part of the hospital. I thought of that as progress at one time, but now realize that it means they have done all they can do in the Intensive Care Unit.
Today may have been a little better for Redjeb, but not for me. I am rather down this eve.
Tomorrow my nephew Will arrives from Maine to spend a few days here. I will move back to the Holiday Inn, to be with him. Redjeb's daughter Nicole is in the country from Tbilisi. She is to come out on Thursday for the day and again on Sunday I think.
The storm is passing....
Today was a day of very mixed emotions. He seemed more aware (so to speak), even sort of smiling at me at times. I downloaded Pandora radio to my cell phone and played classical music for him for an hour or so. I was happy thinking that he was listening, but later on I began to wonder if he really heard it. I wonder if he has become totally deaf and that is one reason he does not respond to commands. Even the hearing aids don't seem to make a difference. Right now he is unable to read or write so we can't communicate that way either. Some have said this may be that he has been on pain killers for so long, but I wonder. Something isn't right.
I think they are moving him to the regular part of the hospital. I thought of that as progress at one time, but now realize that it means they have done all they can do in the Intensive Care Unit.
Today may have been a little better for Redjeb, but not for me. I am rather down this eve.
Tomorrow my nephew Will arrives from Maine to spend a few days here. I will move back to the Holiday Inn, to be with him. Redjeb's daughter Nicole is in the country from Tbilisi. She is to come out on Thursday for the day and again on Sunday I think.
The storm is passing....
Monday, July 22, 2013
Monday--3 weeks ago...
It was 3 weeks ago on a Monday that our lives changed. And who knows to what??? But onward...
I wish I could say that today was again a better day, but Redjeb slept most of the day and only occasionally acted like he knew I was there. One time we actually were doing a little hand wrestling. He still has more strength than I do, but I can see that he is a bit weaker...no surprise after being in bed so long.
They put him in the chair again today, but I had to ask more than once for this. Usually the nursing has been great, but the nurse today had a very sick patient and couldn't spend much time with Redjeb. That distressed me though I understand that when he first came in everyone was running in and out of the room, that that is the nature of that kind of unit.
Did you folks see that article in the NY Times magazine about a woman named, of all things, Peggy, whose husband was severely injured in a bicycle accident? Eerie. Some of the beginning of the article parallels what I've/we've been through, but as the article goes on I wasn't sure what I thought. I'd say read the first 1/3 if you do at all.
I moved out of the hotel today for my two-day stint with Fred and Marilyn (they said I could use their names). I've been kind of guarding people's identities, since with the Internet you never know what will come of what you write. Is a nice change to just sit and chat with people. They've opened their home to me, made a delicious meal and we sat around drinking beer and talking. Almost like normal (in a life that has almost forgotten what normal is.)
Wondering if any of you out there in East Hampton land who live near us have a fax or a scanner to fax or email materials to me from our mailbox. Friends have been checking for my mail out there periodically, but they don't have a fax, so is a bit inconvenient (my word not theirs) for them to get the bills etc to me. There is a time pressure, as bills related to the No Fault insurance are coming to our East Hampton address and they need to be submitted within a window of days or they will not be paid. I have to get them to the lawyer in a timely manner. With me being a nomad right now...also complicates things.
My last bit of advice for today's post: Be sure to give someone Power of Attorney. I have it for Redjeb, but what I am beginning to realize is that it may not be the best to give this to someone close to you. That person like me will be trying to be there for you, being supportive and helpful, but may get distracted and stressed by all the legal crap (excuse the expression) that comes on top of the medical. Having POA can become a lot of work. I say, give the POA to a retired person with lots of time, a clear head, a good disposition, well organized, who really doesn't care for you that much so they won't be bothered by emotions pulling at them.
I wish I could say that today was again a better day, but Redjeb slept most of the day and only occasionally acted like he knew I was there. One time we actually were doing a little hand wrestling. He still has more strength than I do, but I can see that he is a bit weaker...no surprise after being in bed so long.
They put him in the chair again today, but I had to ask more than once for this. Usually the nursing has been great, but the nurse today had a very sick patient and couldn't spend much time with Redjeb. That distressed me though I understand that when he first came in everyone was running in and out of the room, that that is the nature of that kind of unit.
Did you folks see that article in the NY Times magazine about a woman named, of all things, Peggy, whose husband was severely injured in a bicycle accident? Eerie. Some of the beginning of the article parallels what I've/we've been through, but as the article goes on I wasn't sure what I thought. I'd say read the first 1/3 if you do at all.
I moved out of the hotel today for my two-day stint with Fred and Marilyn (they said I could use their names). I've been kind of guarding people's identities, since with the Internet you never know what will come of what you write. Is a nice change to just sit and chat with people. They've opened their home to me, made a delicious meal and we sat around drinking beer and talking. Almost like normal (in a life that has almost forgotten what normal is.)
Wondering if any of you out there in East Hampton land who live near us have a fax or a scanner to fax or email materials to me from our mailbox. Friends have been checking for my mail out there periodically, but they don't have a fax, so is a bit inconvenient (my word not theirs) for them to get the bills etc to me. There is a time pressure, as bills related to the No Fault insurance are coming to our East Hampton address and they need to be submitted within a window of days or they will not be paid. I have to get them to the lawyer in a timely manner. With me being a nomad right now...also complicates things.
My last bit of advice for today's post: Be sure to give someone Power of Attorney. I have it for Redjeb, but what I am beginning to realize is that it may not be the best to give this to someone close to you. That person like me will be trying to be there for you, being supportive and helpful, but may get distracted and stressed by all the legal crap (excuse the expression) that comes on top of the medical. Having POA can become a lot of work. I say, give the POA to a retired person with lots of time, a clear head, a good disposition, well organized, who really doesn't care for you that much so they won't be bothered by emotions pulling at them.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sunday Night: A Better Day
Today
I could really see a change. You have to realize that these changes are
very small, but nonetheless... They had Redjeb sitting up in a chair
today. This isn't sitting up like we think of it, but is good that he
gets a new position. 3 weeks lying in bed in one position ain't no fun.
But he tolerated that well.
At
the suggestion of yesterday's and today's nurse I brought his hearing aids to
the hospital and the nurse put them in. We both had the feeling that he
brightened and could hear a little better. I expected him to complain
when we did it, as he has said they are not comfortable but I think he liked
being able to hear. I took them with me when I left, cause the hearing aid
person at Costco warned me that hearing aids disappear in hospitals, e.g., fall
out, etc. So I hope to be very careful about these.
The
surgeon seems pleased with his progress and said in a few days they may move
him from the ICU to the regular part of the hospital. Imagine! he's been
3 weeks tomorrow in the ICU. I didn't know people stayed that long in
intensive care. But we have been spoiled cause here he has his own room
and a dedicated nurse each day.
I
think he will have to go to a rehab hospital after the regular hospital.
I am thinking of somewhere in NYC, such as Rusk, if they take his
insurance. That way I could get to him easily and also friends could
visit easily. I'd love to find a place near East Hampton, since don't
really like the idea of August in the city, but I don't think there are any
good and convenient places near there for his kind of problems. I think
there are rehab facilities in Westhampton or Hampton Bays but that is a good
hour's drive from our house, and in the summer traffic to boot. But we shall have
to see when the time comes.
My
niece Sarai leaves tomorrow morning early. She treated me (and herself)
to a massage today. Really great.
Sunday Night: A Better Day
Today
I could really see a change. You have to realize that these changes are
very small, but nonetheless... They had Redjeb sitting up in a chair
today. This isn't sitting up like we think of it, but is good that he
gets a new position. 3 weeks lying in bed in one position ain't no fun.
But he tolerated that well.
At
the suggestion of yesterday's and today's nurse I brought his hearing aids to
the hospital and the nurse put them in. We both had the feeling that he
brightened and could hear a little better. I expected him to complain
when we did it, as he has said they are not comfortable but I think he liked
being able to hear. I took them with me when I left, cause the hearing aid
person at Costco warned me that hearing aids disappear in hospitals, e.g., fall
out, etc. So I hope to be very careful about these.
The
surgeon seems pleased with his progress and said in a few days they may move
him from the ICU to the regular part of the hospital. Imagine! he's been
3 weeks tomorrow in the ICU. I didn't know people stayed that long in
intensive care. But we have been spoiled cause here he has his own room
and a dedicated nurse each day.
I
think he will have to go to a rehab hospital after the regular hospital.
I am thinking of somewhere in NYC, such as Rusk, if they take his
insurance. That way I could get to him easily and also friends could
visit easily. I'd love to find a place near East Hampton, since don't
really like the idea of August in the city, but I don't think there are any
good and convenient places near there for his kind of problems. I think
there are rehab facilities in Westhampton or Hampton Bays but that is a good
hour's drive from our house, and in the summer traffic to boot. But we shall have
to see when the time comes.
My
niece Sarai leaves tomorrow morning early. She treated me (and herself)
to a massage today. Really great.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Friday & Sat posts: some good news
Saturday: Just realized that the post I wrote late last night was only saved as a draft, not posted. I keep losing Internet connection here in the hotel, so the connection probably went off and I didn't realize it. So I am combining both days here.
Friday's Post:
They have been trying to wean Redjeb from the ventilator, which now goes into the trach. Yesterday he could only breathe on his own about 2 hrs. Today when I left at 7:30 pm he had been breathing on his own since 8 am. So that is real progress. They do supplement this though with oxygen as his breathing is shallow. He had a collapsed lung and broken ribs, so hard to breathe.
Today he was well aware that I was there, and that my niece was too. But he is unable to speak with the trach, though they hope to rectify that one of the soon days. I am a bit concerned though that he doesn't seem to comprehend what I say. The nurses say that may be because he is heavily medicated, as has been for some time. Let us hope that is all. But he looks well--so to speak. The doctor said that in terms of someone his age they've never seen anyone so fit...that he is off the charts, very unusual.
I was very pleased today that someone, who was trying to reach Redjeb, left a message saying that he had built one of Redjeb's Uqbar dinghies 25 years ago in a weekend workshop at the YWCA in NYC. The boat has been in use since, and just now needs a bit of repair. He had a question about the epoxy. Redjeb would be so pleased. I tried to tell him about this, but have no way of knowing if he understood. But I'm saving the subsequent email correspondence for him.
Saturday eve
They did not have to put Redjeb back on the ventilator, and have now taken the ventilator/respirator away. So he is "breathing on his own." But they still are giving him oxygen and humidity through the trak and I'm told will continue to do so. He is still minimally responsive but is on pain killers, so that may account for some of this. I talk to him a lot anyway. When he gets better he'll probably tell me that he wished I had been quiet. But I try to keep it to a beneficial minimum.
They also took out the tube that was draining the abdominal fluid from the lung. That is a big step too. As of Monday will be 3 weeks since the accident and he is still in the SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit). I am losing all track of time; every day rolling into the next. And I am getting tired of the hospital...hopefully he'll be out sooner than later. He will have to go to some kind of rehab center after the hospital.
Just to let you know that on Monday and Tuesday eves I plan to stay with friends in Port Jeff. I'll be back though for a few days, when my nephew Will arrives on Wednesday. Don't expect to hear from me necessarily every day next week, as moving around may interrupt my routine a bit.
Friday's Post:
They have been trying to wean Redjeb from the ventilator, which now goes into the trach. Yesterday he could only breathe on his own about 2 hrs. Today when I left at 7:30 pm he had been breathing on his own since 8 am. So that is real progress. They do supplement this though with oxygen as his breathing is shallow. He had a collapsed lung and broken ribs, so hard to breathe.
Today he was well aware that I was there, and that my niece was too. But he is unable to speak with the trach, though they hope to rectify that one of the soon days. I am a bit concerned though that he doesn't seem to comprehend what I say. The nurses say that may be because he is heavily medicated, as has been for some time. Let us hope that is all. But he looks well--so to speak. The doctor said that in terms of someone his age they've never seen anyone so fit...that he is off the charts, very unusual.
I was very pleased today that someone, who was trying to reach Redjeb, left a message saying that he had built one of Redjeb's Uqbar dinghies 25 years ago in a weekend workshop at the YWCA in NYC. The boat has been in use since, and just now needs a bit of repair. He had a question about the epoxy. Redjeb would be so pleased. I tried to tell him about this, but have no way of knowing if he understood. But I'm saving the subsequent email correspondence for him.
Saturday eve
They did not have to put Redjeb back on the ventilator, and have now taken the ventilator/respirator away. So he is "breathing on his own." But they still are giving him oxygen and humidity through the trak and I'm told will continue to do so. He is still minimally responsive but is on pain killers, so that may account for some of this. I talk to him a lot anyway. When he gets better he'll probably tell me that he wished I had been quiet. But I try to keep it to a beneficial minimum.
They also took out the tube that was draining the abdominal fluid from the lung. That is a big step too. As of Monday will be 3 weeks since the accident and he is still in the SICU (Surgical Intensive Care Unit). I am losing all track of time; every day rolling into the next. And I am getting tired of the hospital...hopefully he'll be out sooner than later. He will have to go to some kind of rehab center after the hospital.
Just to let you know that on Monday and Tuesday eves I plan to stay with friends in Port Jeff. I'll be back though for a few days, when my nephew Will arrives on Wednesday. Don't expect to hear from me necessarily every day next week, as moving around may interrupt my routine a bit.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Day After Second Surgery
Redjeb just seems to sleep a lot today. Not really responsive as far as I'm concerned. The doctors and nurses keep saying he is responsive; sometimes I think we are with two different people. However, when I announced that I was leaving for the night, his eyes opened up and he was quite there. I said: How come you always wake up when it's time for me to leave? The nurses started laughing.
He is just one day post surgery. The doctor decided they should try to see if he could breathe on his own for 2 hours without the vent in the trach. He was only able to do this for less than two hours. I think it is distressful for him when he is having trouble breathing. They are trying to wean him off the vent, but his lungs are still not up to it.
I'm trying to wean myself off of this hotel. Found myself referring to it as "home" the other day, like "going home". That is getting bad. But I must admit one could get used to having someone make your bed every day, put out fresh towels, tidy up the room, no laundry ('cept your own clothes, and for a price they'd do that too I guess). Also can do faxes and all that stuff re the insurance from here. Very convenient. And the staff is very attentive, as most know that Redjeb is in the hospital. But I can't stay here forever, and may move in with some friends who live nearby, perhaps a few days here and a few days there. Feel sorry for these friends, as I think I am a very awkward house guest. Have to see how things go this week at the hospital.
He is just one day post surgery. The doctor decided they should try to see if he could breathe on his own for 2 hours without the vent in the trach. He was only able to do this for less than two hours. I think it is distressful for him when he is having trouble breathing. They are trying to wean him off the vent, but his lungs are still not up to it.
I'm trying to wean myself off of this hotel. Found myself referring to it as "home" the other day, like "going home". That is getting bad. But I must admit one could get used to having someone make your bed every day, put out fresh towels, tidy up the room, no laundry ('cept your own clothes, and for a price they'd do that too I guess). Also can do faxes and all that stuff re the insurance from here. Very convenient. And the staff is very attentive, as most know that Redjeb is in the hospital. But I can't stay here forever, and may move in with some friends who live nearby, perhaps a few days here and a few days there. Feel sorry for these friends, as I think I am a very awkward house guest. Have to see how things go this week at the hospital.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Surgery: So far so good
Redjeb had his surgery today where they took out the ventilator oral tube and did a trach. They say he did well. He still has to have assisted breathing. I have been told this is temporary until his lungs heal. Poor guy. But they say he will be more comfortable now. Let us hope so. He was sleeping today after the surgery.
My brother left today, and my niece Sarai arrived this eve. She will stay a few days. Her brother Tom came by for an evening last week. Will may turn up next week. So my family has been trying to keep me going. I think word must have gotten out to keep an eye on Aunt Peggy, which is also a way to help Redjeb, whom they all love.
Hopefully in the not too distant future he'll be able to see his friends. But now on the Intensive Care Unit they are very strict, and he couldn't talk to you anyway just yet.
Not much more to say. Still buried in paper, paying bills, friends helping me keep track of mail that arrives in both East Hampton and NYC. Modern life is complex.
Thanks for all your good wishes. Sorry most of you can't figure out how to post comments. Doesn't say much for Google does it. Now that they own this blog site, they can't even make a user friendly blog.
Have a good night. I am going to hit the sack.
My brother left today, and my niece Sarai arrived this eve. She will stay a few days. Her brother Tom came by for an evening last week. Will may turn up next week. So my family has been trying to keep me going. I think word must have gotten out to keep an eye on Aunt Peggy, which is also a way to help Redjeb, whom they all love.
Hopefully in the not too distant future he'll be able to see his friends. But now on the Intensive Care Unit they are very strict, and he couldn't talk to you anyway just yet.
Not much more to say. Still buried in paper, paying bills, friends helping me keep track of mail that arrives in both East Hampton and NYC. Modern life is complex.
Thanks for all your good wishes. Sorry most of you can't figure out how to post comments. Doesn't say much for Google does it. Now that they own this blog site, they can't even make a user friendly blog.
Have a good night. I am going to hit the sack.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Another surgery tomorrow, plus info re making comments
I am doing 2 posts this eve. The first is the one just posted before this one, about No Fault Insurance for those who are interested.
This one is the update on Redjeb. But before that I also refer you to the comments on the post previous to that, where people have attempted to explain how to make comments. Why Google makes this so hard is really something. In any case it seems like you have to register with an account, like a gmail or such.
Now for today's update. Redjeb slept most of the day (as did I sitting in the chair in his room). But this evening he seemed to wake up and was much more physically active, given that he is not able to move much in bed.
Tomorrow is another big day. He is to have a trach put in. I hate to think of this, but the doctors assure me that this will make him more comfortable and help him improve, and should only be there temporarily. It is another surgery, so those that pray, do so, and those that cross their fingers, please do so. The doctors say they would not do this surgery if they did not think that he was strong enough. They all talk with amazement about how strong he is for his age--(don't we folks of a certain age just love that last little "for his/your age" that gets added on now that we've gotten there). But it is deserved for Redjeb, he still has a lot of strength.
This one is the update on Redjeb. But before that I also refer you to the comments on the post previous to that, where people have attempted to explain how to make comments. Why Google makes this so hard is really something. In any case it seems like you have to register with an account, like a gmail or such.
Now for today's update. Redjeb slept most of the day (as did I sitting in the chair in his room). But this evening he seemed to wake up and was much more physically active, given that he is not able to move much in bed.
Tomorrow is another big day. He is to have a trach put in. I hate to think of this, but the doctors assure me that this will make him more comfortable and help him improve, and should only be there temporarily. It is another surgery, so those that pray, do so, and those that cross their fingers, please do so. The doctors say they would not do this surgery if they did not think that he was strong enough. They all talk with amazement about how strong he is for his age--(don't we folks of a certain age just love that last little "for his/your age" that gets added on now that we've gotten there). But it is deserved for Redjeb, he still has a lot of strength.
No Fault Insurance--a complicated lesson
I don't know about you, but this no-fault insurance is very complicated to me. I
will give you in this posting my layman's understanding and also from
experience. But my advice to you is that as soon as you are in an accident that
Involves an automobile, you should quickly find an accident lawyer to help you
with all the paperwork, phone calls etc. And when I said automobile accident,
did you know that if you are a Pedestrian or riding a bicycle, you are also
eligible for the no-fault insurance to cover some of your medical expenses? It is a state insurance or at least something that has come under state law. The first bout of coverage comes from the no-fault insurance
that has something to do with the automobile driver's insurance, the person who hit you. It seems that this can vary by state and what kind of insurance coverage he has etc. So it's not always clear if you get the no fault insurance or how much. As I understand it the lawyer has 45 days from accident to submit the application, which the patient (you) or person seems that this can vary by state and what kind of insurance coverage he has
etc. So it's not always clear if you get the no fault insurance or how much. As I understand it the
lawyer has 45 days from accident to submit the application, which the patient (you) or person with
power of attorney has to sign. This Has to be submitted by that deadline along with at least one bill.
Tricky thing is a lot of the hospitals don't send out a bill and
it's not necessarily easy to get your hands on one until they go through their
monthly billing. Also they tend to send this to your house, and like me you may not be
there. Fortunately for us the ambulance submitted its bill right away. Friends
are picking up my mail and even had to fax the bill to me. I was also
expecting an application regarding the no-fault, but it has not yet arrived. Fortunately my lawyer had a generic copy. Also fortunately my hotel is very good about faxing and copying, So this morning I was busy faxing, phoning, Fortunately my lawyer had a generic copy. Also fortunately my hotel is very good
about faxing and copying, So this morning I was busy faxing, phoning, you name it.
(Now you might get a bit of an idea why I don't always have time to answer my phone.) But this is not all. In a situation where this could go on for quite
some time and become quite costly, the no-fault can become exhausted. Then you
can either take no-fault from your own drivers insurance, if you have some??? not sure how that works but
that will involve more forms that need to be filled out by a deadline. If you don't use your no-fault insurance it will then default to your personal insurance. Hopefully that will cover all of it. But I guess if it doesn't and one runs out of money, one then has to get into the Medicaid system. Welcome to America. And you're supposed to do all of this while you're either in the hospital under medication or frazzled like me. A lawyer is of immense help. If you don't use your no-fault insurance it will then default to your
personal insurance. Hopefully that will cover all of it. But I guess if it
doesn't and one runs out of money, one then has to get into the Medicaid system.Welcome to America. And you're supposed to do all of this while you're either in the hospital under
medication or frazzled like me.A lawyer is of immense help.
In summary there is it in order, I think:the other person's no faultthe patient's no fault from his/her auto insurancethe patient's personal insuranceand if all this exhausted, Medicaid So my advice is, if you're ever involved in an accident that has anything to do
with an automobile even if you are hit by one, get yourself an
accident attorney on contingency, or talk to the social worker at the hospital where you are.
They know about a lot of these issues on some level.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Monday: Two weeks since accident
Redjeb seems about the same today. Maybe a little more with it, but about the same. They say his lungs (amongst other things) really got injured and that is what is of concern and making it hard for him to breathe. Oh, dear. But they say with time he should get "better"whatever that means.
I hear that my blog comes up if you just type Redjeb on the computer. That makes me feel creepy. I think since Google took over the blog site; they got like Facebook and blast everything whenever they can get away with it I guess.
Not to worry if you don't hear from me every night. The changes are very slight and slow. Also, I have very poor Internet service in my room and spend great deal of time trying to get on the Internet or staying on the Internet. Tonight I have moved me and my computer way down the hall, and am sitting on a bench in front of the elevators on my floor. They have a booster somewhere near here I heard, and indeed it works much better. Also there is often not much to say, though I do hate to disappoint my regular followers if I don't do posts. Alas.
I have a request. Those of you who have figured out how to make comments to the posts would you please spell out the steps clearly for the many who email me saying they just can't make it work. Some have mentioned getting something like "profiles" and not know what to do about this. Yet others of you seem to make comments quite easily.
Bon soir.
I hear that my blog comes up if you just type Redjeb on the computer. That makes me feel creepy. I think since Google took over the blog site; they got like Facebook and blast everything whenever they can get away with it I guess.
Not to worry if you don't hear from me every night. The changes are very slight and slow. Also, I have very poor Internet service in my room and spend great deal of time trying to get on the Internet or staying on the Internet. Tonight I have moved me and my computer way down the hall, and am sitting on a bench in front of the elevators on my floor. They have a booster somewhere near here I heard, and indeed it works much better. Also there is often not much to say, though I do hate to disappoint my regular followers if I don't do posts. Alas.
I have a request. Those of you who have figured out how to make comments to the posts would you please spell out the steps clearly for the many who email me saying they just can't make it work. Some have mentioned getting something like "profiles" and not know what to do about this. Yet others of you seem to make comments quite easily.
Bon soir.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Even Better Day (Fingers Crossed)
I don't want to be superstitious, but say all this with fingers crossed:
Redjeb had a better day today, I think. He made real eye contact, held my hand, even reached out to shake my brother"s hand. He cannot speak because he has the f*#n ventilator in his mouth/throat, but he is much more aware. He's on heavy pain meds so that seems to make him a bit not there. But I really felt we communicated much better today. He was also moving around his legs and arms quite a bit (given the limitations), so it seems much more positive. But things do go up and down, so I am typing this with my fingers crossed (pun intended).
This Intensive Care ward is amazing. There is a team of doctors, nurses etc. who meet I think twice a day, and make rounds. The nurse assigned to Redjeb has only one other patient. The nurses change each day it seems, but each has been fantastic ( friends who know me well, know I can be quite critical when it comes to "service" so this compliment is not to be taken lightly).
I think my brother is determined to not let me get weak, so we go for lunch and dinner in various restaurants, some more upscale and others ordinary, like the Red Lobster this eve. But given that we are Backmans, eating takes a high priority. Redjeb always laughs, that whatever is wrong with him I tell him he should eat something.
Redjeb had a better day today, I think. He made real eye contact, held my hand, even reached out to shake my brother"s hand. He cannot speak because he has the f*#n ventilator in his mouth/throat, but he is much more aware. He's on heavy pain meds so that seems to make him a bit not there. But I really felt we communicated much better today. He was also moving around his legs and arms quite a bit (given the limitations), so it seems much more positive. But things do go up and down, so I am typing this with my fingers crossed (pun intended).
This Intensive Care ward is amazing. There is a team of doctors, nurses etc. who meet I think twice a day, and make rounds. The nurse assigned to Redjeb has only one other patient. The nurses change each day it seems, but each has been fantastic ( friends who know me well, know I can be quite critical when it comes to "service" so this compliment is not to be taken lightly).
I think my brother is determined to not let me get weak, so we go for lunch and dinner in various restaurants, some more upscale and others ordinary, like the Red Lobster this eve. But given that we are Backmans, eating takes a high priority. Redjeb always laughs, that whatever is wrong with him I tell him he should eat something.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Saturday A Better Day
I find that it helps orient me to put the day in the title of the blog post. Every day runs into the other. Not only are my brother and I frequently forgetting where we parked the car in the big hospital garage, but every day just runs into the other. Can't imagine that we have been here so long. I just hang out at the hotel as though it is my home, forgetting that I am paying them a pretty sum. One of these days I need to figure out another living arrangement, but for now this works. Friends who live nearby have kindly offered me a room in their home. That is very tempting but I am a bit fuzzy in the head these days, so worry about the drive back and forth to the hospital should I need to do it on my own. The hotel has a shuttle and for now my brother is driving us. But he will need to go back to Boston one of these days, and the hotel shuttle would keep me off the roads.
I should say that Redjeb was more responsive today. It is nice to know that he is aware of my presence and wants to hold my hand. The same with his daughter, he recognizes her too. She keeps adding a day to her stay but will have to leave tomorrow for work. I think I may have worried some of you with my "down" report yesterday. Emotionally things are up and down big time here and much is very confusing.
I reread some of my posts and realized that a lot of what I say is redundant. Sorry bout that. Not much changes here.
I should say that Redjeb was more responsive today. It is nice to know that he is aware of my presence and wants to hold my hand. The same with his daughter, he recognizes her too. She keeps adding a day to her stay but will have to leave tomorrow for work. I think I may have worried some of you with my "down" report yesterday. Emotionally things are up and down big time here and much is very confusing.
I reread some of my posts and realized that a lot of what I say is redundant. Sorry bout that. Not much changes here.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Friday the 12th of July
Redjeb was hardly responsive today, could not even hold or squeeze my hand. He is still on the ventilator but breathing very rapidly. I know some of you would like me to tell him your get well wishes, but I don't know if he understands. But I do so anyway.
I can only give you advice to prepare ASAP your advance directives. Redjeb and I both made out Living Wills and Health Care Proxies. We also gave each other Power of Attorney. The forms are simple to do. It has helped immensely at the hospital to smooth things over. I need to make another Health Care Proxy now, as Redjeb is mine and he won't be in any shape to do what it takes for a long time.
By the way, I keep the Advance Directives in the refrigerator door in a zip lock baggie. The refrig is what I learned from my mother who lived for a while in Florida: keeps them save from hurricanes and fire (hopefully). They are also very handy for people to find or to grab yourself when need be. I keep copies in NYC and EH.
I can only give you advice to prepare ASAP your advance directives. Redjeb and I both made out Living Wills and Health Care Proxies. We also gave each other Power of Attorney. The forms are simple to do. It has helped immensely at the hospital to smooth things over. I need to make another Health Care Proxy now, as Redjeb is mine and he won't be in any shape to do what it takes for a long time.
By the way, I keep the Advance Directives in the refrigerator door in a zip lock baggie. The refrig is what I learned from my mother who lived for a while in Florida: keeps them save from hurricanes and fire (hopefully). They are also very handy for people to find or to grab yourself when need be. I keep copies in NYC and EH.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Wednesday
They are taking Redjeb off the sedation and reducing the pain killers. This is hard on him, but they are doing it cause they need him to be alert when they take out the ventilator tube. And they won't do that till they can teach him to breathe without it or at least evaluate his breathing. His left lung was punctured and bruised and he broke a lot of ribs, so breathing is of course really painful I'm sure.
Anyway, from this you can tell he is really banged up. But it was nice today that without the sedation he seemed to know that I was there, and could hold my hand. And his daughter Taris felt the same when she was there.
The days are crazy though. My hotel room is a mess cause I have all kinds of notes strewn over the desk of things I have to do and calls I have to make re insurance, normal bills to pay, etc. The bed is also covered with paperwork. I bought some file folders and note books today to see if I can put some order into things, but not sure how this is going to work out. My brain is fuzzy and isn't working too well these, days which includes a memory that wasn't so hot before all this.
On a lighter note, our Holiday Inn hosted a reception for some local artists and crafts persons, which included all sorts of wine and beer (though I drank Pepsi too). They had lots of cheese and crackers, and then to our surprise came out with delicious pasta and salad buffet. Local business people came as well as hotel guests of all sorts. The event was a fund raiser for some Children's something, but they apparently have these receptions every week. The people were all very nice. The hotel is old and kind of run down, but is homey.
The other light spot is there is a nice pool, which Taris and I used late this eve to get the tension out. So I am trying to keep in the world, which also includes my brother wanting to go out for dinners, so I'm eating well; not a lot, but well.
I only wish Redjeb were out here with us enjoying all this.
Anyway, from this you can tell he is really banged up. But it was nice today that without the sedation he seemed to know that I was there, and could hold my hand. And his daughter Taris felt the same when she was there.
The days are crazy though. My hotel room is a mess cause I have all kinds of notes strewn over the desk of things I have to do and calls I have to make re insurance, normal bills to pay, etc. The bed is also covered with paperwork. I bought some file folders and note books today to see if I can put some order into things, but not sure how this is going to work out. My brain is fuzzy and isn't working too well these, days which includes a memory that wasn't so hot before all this.
On a lighter note, our Holiday Inn hosted a reception for some local artists and crafts persons, which included all sorts of wine and beer (though I drank Pepsi too). They had lots of cheese and crackers, and then to our surprise came out with delicious pasta and salad buffet. Local business people came as well as hotel guests of all sorts. The event was a fund raiser for some Children's something, but they apparently have these receptions every week. The people were all very nice. The hotel is old and kind of run down, but is homey.
The other light spot is there is a nice pool, which Taris and I used late this eve to get the tension out. So I am trying to keep in the world, which also includes my brother wanting to go out for dinners, so I'm eating well; not a lot, but well.
I only wish Redjeb were out here with us enjoying all this.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Day following evening surgery
Tuesday--a week and a half since the accident.
Redjeb was alert this morning, but hasn't been able to talk as they have him on a ventilator. But I know he knew we were there. But by afternoon he didn't seem to be doing as well, so they put him on sedation again and increased the pain meds. Sedation essentially seems to mean that he is semi conscious or asleep.
They want him to breathe on his own without the ventilator, but it is hard for him to be weaned off because he had the surgery which is painful, but also his lung is bruised and he broke his ribs. My brother and the medical staff tell me that what he has can heal over time, if his organs keep working. But that it will be painful is hard for me to know and harder for him to experience.. They moderate the pain killers as not to overdo, but not to "underdo".
The doctors know that he does not want unnecessary treatments. They are amazed at how strong he is.
I know a number of you have wanted to come visit, but I don't think this is possible for some time. Particularly now that he is still in the intensive care unit, the nurses work hard every minute and do not really want people in the way. Even we try to be careful and have been limiting our time with him.
I have not forgotten you folks out there, even those of you who can't figure out how to leave the comments. You are truly friends. Right now my brother and I like to spend some time alone, just resting when we are not in the hospital or taking care of related matters. I think in another week or so this should change a bit, at least I hope so. It is all quite stressful. Taris, Redjeb's daughter, has to go back to her job tomorrow.
Redjeb was alert this morning, but hasn't been able to talk as they have him on a ventilator. But I know he knew we were there. But by afternoon he didn't seem to be doing as well, so they put him on sedation again and increased the pain meds. Sedation essentially seems to mean that he is semi conscious or asleep.
They want him to breathe on his own without the ventilator, but it is hard for him to be weaned off because he had the surgery which is painful, but also his lung is bruised and he broke his ribs. My brother and the medical staff tell me that what he has can heal over time, if his organs keep working. But that it will be painful is hard for me to know and harder for him to experience.. They moderate the pain killers as not to overdo, but not to "underdo".
The doctors know that he does not want unnecessary treatments. They are amazed at how strong he is.
I know a number of you have wanted to come visit, but I don't think this is possible for some time. Particularly now that he is still in the intensive care unit, the nurses work hard every minute and do not really want people in the way. Even we try to be careful and have been limiting our time with him.
I have not forgotten you folks out there, even those of you who can't figure out how to leave the comments. You are truly friends. Right now my brother and I like to spend some time alone, just resting when we are not in the hospital or taking care of related matters. I think in another week or so this should change a bit, at least I hope so. It is all quite stressful. Taris, Redjeb's daughter, has to go back to her job tomorrow.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Spinal Surgery Day
Today is a week since the accident. This evening they performed neck and upper back surgery (fusion). 4 hrs. The surgeon was especially nice and understanding. He said surgery went well. But the road ahead will be months and arduous, not only because of the surgery but he has other extensive injuries. Poor Redjeb. But they feel over time he will hopefully heal. As they say, one day at a time.
I really had the feeling today that he knew I was there, but he was in the sleep state they put him in.
His daughter Taris drove up from Virginia last eve arriving in the wee hours of the morning.
We are all kind of wiped out.
I really had the feeling today that he knew I was there, but he was in the sleep state they put him in.
His daughter Taris drove up from Virginia last eve arriving in the wee hours of the morning.
We are all kind of wiped out.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Sunday: the end of the Fourth of July weekend
Not much to add today. Redjeb is scheduled for back and neck surgery tomorrow Monday. However, it is still not certain that they will do so. They are evaluating him and will continue to do so to make sure that he is fit for surgery. They seem to be taking very good care of him. He is in intensive care and the nurse assigned to him only has one other patient. At this point they are keeping him asleep so he will not be uncomfortable. I'm not sure if he can hear us when we talk, as not sure how deep the sleep is. He will probably complain to me later that we made too much noise. Even that would make me feel good.
I get pessimistic about the future, so it is good that my brother is here. He is an MD and can explain things to me to keep my overactive mind from getting to far ahead. His wife is also a doctor but she had to go back to see patients in Brookline (Boston) today. They are both psychiatrists, though my brother just retired...just coincidentally in time to take care of his little sister! I'm not sure which is more helpful to me at this point...their medical training or the psychiatric part!
But I think I am doing OK considering it all. I get sad, but I also get strong.
I just want to let you know that I may have given incorrect info in my last blog: I think for you to leave comments you can do so by clicking or double clicking on the "no comments" at the bottom of a post, or maybe it says "comments" if someone has left a comment. You don't have to leave one, but just in case you feel like it. (Remember everyone who reads these posts can read your comments.)
I get pessimistic about the future, so it is good that my brother is here. He is an MD and can explain things to me to keep my overactive mind from getting to far ahead. His wife is also a doctor but she had to go back to see patients in Brookline (Boston) today. They are both psychiatrists, though my brother just retired...just coincidentally in time to take care of his little sister! I'm not sure which is more helpful to me at this point...their medical training or the psychiatric part!
But I think I am doing OK considering it all. I get sad, but I also get strong.
I just want to let you know that I may have given incorrect info in my last blog: I think for you to leave comments you can do so by clicking or double clicking on the "no comments" at the bottom of a post, or maybe it says "comments" if someone has left a comment. You don't have to leave one, but just in case you feel like it. (Remember everyone who reads these posts can read your comments.)
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Leaving comments
Wanted to mention that I think you can leave messages, if you wish, at the bottom of my posts, by clicking on the little "pencil" icon or writing in the comments field when one appears.
I just wrote a new little post and saved it and now can't find it. Not sure how to use this site too well.
Essentially, I mentioned that I think he was able to know I was talking to him today, so that felt good. It was only for a short time, as they have him doped up quite heavily.
I just wrote a new little post and saved it and now can't find it. Not sure how to use this site too well.
Essentially, I mentioned that I think he was able to know I was talking to him today, so that felt good. It was only for a short time, as they have him doped up quite heavily.
Saturday
Saturday morn. Redjeb's temperature has returned to normal but his heart goes in and out of irregular heartbeat. He also has spiking from low to high blood pressure. Still, they are planning (tentatively) for neck surgery on Monday. He has broken vertebrae in his neck and has been in a neck brace, not allowed to move. He can move is arms and legs, so that is good. He is still heavily sedated so we cannot communicate with him.
The only good news is that we are staying in an air conditioned hotel and the hospital has AC of course. So we are not subjected to this heatwave.
My brother John and his wife Alicia are still here with me. I know you all want to help in whatever way you can. Believe me, I/we appreciate this. Right now we are doing what we can. I will not forget that I can call on our wonderful friends and family. This may be a long haul.
The only good news is that we are staying in an air conditioned hotel and the hospital has AC of course. So we are not subjected to this heatwave.
My brother John and his wife Alicia are still here with me. I know you all want to help in whatever way you can. Believe me, I/we appreciate this. Right now we are doing what we can. I will not forget that I can call on our wonderful friends and family. This may be a long haul.
Friday, July 5, 2013
First Post Friday: An Overview
Redjeb's accident was on Monday. He was on his bike on his way to the Springs General Store for coffee on Springs Fireplace Road, in East Hampton. He liked to bike there every day and sit on the porch.
I had already been there with a friend. We were returning home and were not expecting to see him on the other side of the road going to the store. We waved at each other and he motioned for me to pull over (I assume to tell me something). As I was pulling over we heard a noise and looked back. He was lying on the road. He had apparently been hit by a car as he was crossing the road to come to us. It was very upsetting for myself and my friend, and still continues to be so.
He was conscious and talking. Told me that he had signaled that he was turning but I guess the driver did not see him or was not able to stop in time. People gathered and called for help. The local police and ambulance came very soon. A doctor who had stopped by checked him over as well. From what we could tell at that time, he seemed to have broken ribs.
The ambulance took him to the hospital and I drove there with my friend. I was not prepared to be away for long as I did not realize the extent of his injuries. The Southampton Hospital did tests and then had him go by ambulance to Stony Brook Hospital, which is supposed to have a good trauma center. It was during this period that it was becoming clear that his injuries were extensive.
He has many fractures that are quite serious, including the broken ribs which managed to also puncture his lung. I have great difficulty telling you all the details. They are keeping him sedated because of the pain and discomfort. It is like he is sleeping all the time. Yesterday I was able to whisper in his ear and he could squeeze my hand or slightly nod his head. But today he didn't do this. Also he has now developed an infection and has some irregular heart beat. His blood pressure has been spiking too. They have not done any surgery yet as they need to get him stable.
I want to be hopeful, but it is so sad and scary. Forgive me if I do not call you or answer your emails right now. I will try to keep you informed as best I can via this blog, but don't promise to make an entry every day. Many of you know that Redjeb hated to talk about health and was as private as he could be about his own health. Thus, I feel disloyal in a way telling you details of his injuries etc. But I know that you all are concerned.
It is so unbelievable.
As Stony Brook is almost 2hrs from East Hampton we, meaning my brother, sister in law, and myself are now in a hotel near the hospital. Not sure how long we will have to be here.
I had already been there with a friend. We were returning home and were not expecting to see him on the other side of the road going to the store. We waved at each other and he motioned for me to pull over (I assume to tell me something). As I was pulling over we heard a noise and looked back. He was lying on the road. He had apparently been hit by a car as he was crossing the road to come to us. It was very upsetting for myself and my friend, and still continues to be so.
He was conscious and talking. Told me that he had signaled that he was turning but I guess the driver did not see him or was not able to stop in time. People gathered and called for help. The local police and ambulance came very soon. A doctor who had stopped by checked him over as well. From what we could tell at that time, he seemed to have broken ribs.
The ambulance took him to the hospital and I drove there with my friend. I was not prepared to be away for long as I did not realize the extent of his injuries. The Southampton Hospital did tests and then had him go by ambulance to Stony Brook Hospital, which is supposed to have a good trauma center. It was during this period that it was becoming clear that his injuries were extensive.
He has many fractures that are quite serious, including the broken ribs which managed to also puncture his lung. I have great difficulty telling you all the details. They are keeping him sedated because of the pain and discomfort. It is like he is sleeping all the time. Yesterday I was able to whisper in his ear and he could squeeze my hand or slightly nod his head. But today he didn't do this. Also he has now developed an infection and has some irregular heart beat. His blood pressure has been spiking too. They have not done any surgery yet as they need to get him stable.
I want to be hopeful, but it is so sad and scary. Forgive me if I do not call you or answer your emails right now. I will try to keep you informed as best I can via this blog, but don't promise to make an entry every day. Many of you know that Redjeb hated to talk about health and was as private as he could be about his own health. Thus, I feel disloyal in a way telling you details of his injuries etc. But I know that you all are concerned.
It is so unbelievable.
As Stony Brook is almost 2hrs from East Hampton we, meaning my brother, sister in law, and myself are now in a hotel near the hospital. Not sure how long we will have to be here.
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